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Seoul Pride Fest, June 2016

Prior to heading out to the festivities on Saturday morning, 11 June, I had searched for more details on Google about the activities that would take place so I could send the address and event line-up to some friends stationed at other camps here in South Korea. In doing so, I read that over 30,000 people attended the pride parade in 2015. I was amazed because I had never been to a pride that large (to my knowledge). I don’t know whether the prides in Georgia or Florida I’d been to had held nearly as many attendees. It made me more excited because I knew this was going to be a huge event with lots of big entertainment and plenty of people from all over the world. It ended up being even more than I imagined.

That morning we had a nice little brunch at The Baker’s Table before heading over to Myeongdong. Once we arrived at the area where Seoul Plaza was at, which is near City Hall, I started to realize something as we came around the corner towards the event location. The streets were lined on both sides with hundreds of police men and women, many of which were holding riot shields. It was so overwhelming that I didn’t even realize they were actually in place for the event WE were headed to attend. There were older civilian people gathered sitting on the sidewalks holding up signs as well as people in suits talking into megaphones. But it was all in Korean so it took me and my American companions a bit to realize these were the anti-gay and Christian protesters, and that the police were there to protect people. Never in my life…

Most people around us that were walking to the fest as well didn’t seem phased at all by whatever the protesters were saying, which is another reason why I didn’t realize that their efforts were aimed at us. We’re in a city and hey they could’ve been protesting anything, I thought. The closer we got to the entrance of the festival, the worse it got. Protesters seemed more angry, combative, and aggressive going toward the fest. But the worst of it all in my opinion was the yelling and moaning of a pastor across the street over a loud speaker. It sounded like the voice of a demon or ghost wailing over the audio system, and at times it was louder than the actual concert we were at inside the fest. These people protesting were causing more of a ruckus than the attendees! It truly stirred my soul. We even saw a car try to drive into the crosswalk as we were crossing. Luckily, the crosswalks were also lined with police officers and they quickly jumped in to make the car back up off of the crosswalk lines.

These protesters that held up crosses and pictures of Jesus Christ and their Holy Bibles were the same ones growling and gritting their teeth at us like they were a pack of wild dogs. I honestly didn’t feel safe and I remember telling the person next to me, “My mom would not like this. If she knew I was at a place like this, she wouldn’t be happy about it.” And I actually wasn’t referring to the type of fest. A “queer” fest. I was moreso referring to the situation in which our safety was at risk…

I have never felt threatened like this. And it’s a shame! The people who called themselves Christians at this event were ready to spit on people walking to and from the event. I made eye contact with some of them unfortunately, and it said to me, “If I could kill you and get away with it, I would.” I’m not even exaggerating. Not one bit. Such an event where people from different nations and backgrounds come together to celebrate the uniqueness of each individual was interrupted by evil, hateful persons who used the name of Jesus to throw curses upon the guests. I feel bad for both sides – the people attending the event who don’t know God as well as the people who were protesting who claim they know God. No one is going to win. They’re only going to push away the gay community with their rioting and curses. They are being everything but Godly. And I’m not saying I’m a saint. And I’m not saying homosexuality is not a sin. I’m saying that there are people using Christ as a means to hate others. I personally have never seen anything like this.

And then to wake up two mornings later to hear that 50 people were killed in a gay club in Orlando, Florida is horrific. So far I have not heard that anyone I know personally was in that club at the time. But the first thing that came to mind was that could have been us. An anti-gay shooter or terrorist could surely have emerged from the crowds at any time and injured or killed any of us on Saturday.

This is all so gross and evil. I am shaking just remembering how much hate was outside those festival gates on Saturday, on top of thinking of all the people that were killed at Pulse yesterday. No one deserves to suffer or die by your hand because you don’t believe what they believe in. Leave that up to the real judge when we all have to answer to Him at the end of our lives. It isn’t anybody’s job to kill someone else because the color of our skin, the person we worship, or the people we are in love with.

More: http://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/news/article/article.aspx?aid=3019869&cloc=joongangdaily%7Chome%7Cnewslist1

 
 

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What is AT? Besides Absolutely Tragic

Something has recently been brought to my attention that has greatly disappointed me to the depths of my little soul…

I personally hate to get involved in any gossip, rumors, or drama. And I find ZERO entertainment in these “reality” shows that feature nothing but the worst of cat fights, infidelity, profanity, and baby mama drama to the tenth degree. You know which ones I’m talking about. “Love and Hip-Hop,” etc.

Well I just learned that there is a R E A L L I F E “Bad Girls Club” on Facebook. There is a page that I will refer to as “AT.” (I’m not willing to mention the actual name because the LAST thing I want to do is advertise for it. If you don’t know what it is, don’t go searching for it. It’s not worth it.)

I don’t know how old or new this Facebook page is but there are over 3,600 members. This is a private and exclusive group where you can only be added by someone who is already a member. I was added by a friend who wanted to show me a male Soldier that I know that became a victim of the site. But once I saw all the other nonsense, I removed myself from the madness.

SO WHAT IS IT?

It’s upsetting and it’s humiliating. Most of the content in the group are women posting about their boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, husbands, ex-husbands, new romantic prospects, baby’s daddies, etc. exposing these men as well as exposing their own personal information. It is disgusting. These women are thriving on being “petty” and seem to be very excited to get involved in each other’s personal affairs. In just seconds of scrolling, you can see women posting screen shots of private text messages conversations between them and their men (yes, to include his phone numbers), women posting their baby daddies’ home addresses to have other group members go and “check on him” at his house, women posting photos of their ex-spouses’ new girlfriends to bash her, etc. They even post pictures of their men in their Army uniforms (rank and name all exposed) so other females on the page can “SPILL THE TEA” about him. Like, “Oh I know him! My aunt’s neighbor’s God-daughter used to date him. He has an STD. Don’t date him!” These posts literally have hundreds of comments and I realized after scrolling through a few comments that these women check-in regularly with their popcorn in hand to stay updated on certain situations they may find interesting. Just like you would do to catch up on your favorite TV series. Just as you would do to catch up on the latest celeb gossip in a tabloid or magazine. But these are REAL PEOPLE in real life situations! Real life tire-slashing, weave-pulling, baby-daddy-hunting, new-wife-bashing situations. What in the world?!

This AT page reminds me of Juicy Campus, but on steroids. If you don’t know what Juicy Campus is, don’t worry about that either. I think I just showed my age, lol.

Anywho, this group is full of women doing nothing but talking sh** about each other and about the men in their love lives. Nothing but digital attacks and rumor-spreading. How degrading!!! If there is anything on earth more ratchet than this, I might just die. (I’m exaggerating because unfortunately I’m sure there is worse than this. I’m not that naïve.)

The women in the group seem to enjoy every little bit of the drama too. It’s like they are waking up early and staying up late at night just to feed off of the negative energy and laugh with each other at other people’s personal dealings. They are unknowingly betraying every ounce of loyalty left in their bodies. By publicizing their private home life, they are revealing information to strangers about their children and themselves… Such as personal matters included in their divorce decrees and details about their child support cases.

It honestly breaks my heart that they are spending so much time and energy on this page digging and investigating and fighting and laughing. Why has drama become so entertaining? Why are these women so motivated to tear each other apart? When did it become cool to expose what’s going on in your love life? And to expose it to almost four thousand women you don’t even know and will never even meet? Why has being “petty” become such a competition? Like they are determined to be crowned the pettiest woman on earth?

And the saddest part about it all… These ladies, NO, these GIRLS are in the military or are veterans. From what looks like age 18 on up to 50, a majority of them are serving or have served. Yet they log into Facebook and forget what it means to have respect and bearing, ethics and discipline, loyalty and honor. We are professionals. We are leaders. We are ambassadors. What happened to that? I’m not saying don’t go out and make friends and have some fun. But this…this is just beyond a disgrace. IN MY OPINION.

I hope these women get a grip on reality before they end up ruining their husbands’ or boyfriends’ careers…or much worse ruin their own by digging their own graves full of social media harassment, bullying, and the exposure of PII (personally identifiable information).

According to Army Regulation 600-20 (Army Command Policy), “the Army is a values-based organization where everyone is expected to do what is right by treating all persons as they should be treated…Bullying and other behaviors that undermine dignity and respect are fundamentally in opposition to our values and are prohibited. Soldiers who violate this policy may be subject to punishment under the United States Code of Military Justice.”

And worse, I’m sure there are NCOs and Officers on the page as well. The Creed of the Noncommissioned Officer states, “No one is more professional than I…I will at all times conduct myself so as to bring credit upon the Corps, the military service, and my country regardless of the situation I which I find myself…I will not forget, nor will I allow my comrades to forget that we are professionals…”

Somebody on that page is just bound to screen shot a social media mishap and email it to someone’s Commander or First Sergeant. I am sure of it. I can foresee so many demotions, reliefs-for-cause, and extra duties.

I can’t allow myself to associate with this page nor with any female who finds this crap fascinating, cool, or humorous. I hope an act of God comes down on this group and turns it into a page based on empowering each other, networking, and mentoring. Sort of like “Beauties in Boots” (144K members) or “Female Bosses Link Up” (116 members) or Heather Lindsey’s Pinky Promise for instance.

I honestly don’t know how to end this blog post on a good note. The only thing I can say is that I will continue to focus on myself and continue to love on the women that I have in my small circle. I love them and they have remained in my life this long because of the support and friendship we give each other. Especially my female mentors.

Hopefully soon I find my calling and it involves making an inspirational impact in other women’s lives. People, I am far from perfect. But I am slowly but surely grooming myself to become something special. I’m excited to find my purpose. I just hope other women can get back on the right track to pursuing their purposes as well. Especially those that made the decision to live by the Soldier’s Creed.

JS

 

Climate change affecting Army training

By: C. Todd Lopez

WASHINGTON (Army News Service, April 27, 2016) — For the Big Green Machine — America’s Army — climate change, efforts to prevent it, or to at least adapt to it are about more than saving Mother Earth or even the whales. It’s about training, training space, how the Army fights, how often the Army will be called upon to fight in the future, and where.

Last Friday, April 22, was Earth Day. The day has been observed annually since 1970. In conjunction with that observance, Richard G. Kidd IV, who serves as the deputy assistant secretary of the Army for energy and sustainability, along with his counterparts from the Navy, the Air Force and the Department of Defense discussed service-related perspectives on climate change during a panel discussion, April 26, in the Pentagon.

CLIMATE CHANGES TRAINING

A very visible effect of climate change on Soldiering, Kidd said, involves how weather affects a unit’s ability to prepare for its combat mission.

Kidd said the Army needs to train. Following 14 years of counter-insurgency in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Army is looking to build readiness across the “full spectrum of operations,” also referred to as “decisive action in support of unified land operations.” That readiness has been tagged as the No. 1 priority for the Army by its chief of staff, and large-scale training at the Army’s combat training centers are a key part of that effort.

“Without access to ranges and land, the Army’s readiness suffers,” Kidd said. “One of our key areas of training is Fort Irwin, California, where we do bridge-level maneuvers.”

Kidd said Fort Irwin suffered three years of drought, and so the ground there was unprepared for substantial rainfall. “Then suddenly we got all that water — in one day. It washed out brigade-sized live-fire training complexes across Fort Irwin.”

The rain at Irwin, Kidd said, “exceeded the ability of the land to absorb that water, it created flash floods and erosion which destroyed the ranges: control towers, firing platforms, and target berms that come up. Much of that was destroyed. We couldn’t use those ranges for training. And that’s a unique asset in the Army. It affected the training cycle. And there was a significant cost to fix that.”

Kidd also pointed to flooding at Fort Eustis, Virginia; to melting permafrost up in Alaska which affected the ability of Soldiers there to use firing platforms; and to erosion of tank trails at Fort Benning, Georgia.

At Fort Benning, “a lot of the tank trails on the installation have eroded significantly,” Kidd said. “We’ve always had an erosion problem. But it’s accelerated in the past year due to the shift in rain patterns and the amount and intensity of the rain fall.”

TOO HOT TO TRAIN

Soldiers, Kidd said, are subject to heat stress, and their performance decreases with increased heat.

Army Technical Bulletin MED 507 spells out various temperature categories and the level of intensity of activity that can safely be performed during those temperature conditions. A “Category IV” temperature condition, for instance, is defined as being between 88-89.9 degrees. A “Category V” temperature condition is above 90 degrees.

The bulletin offers specific types of activity that can be performed during different temperature conditions, as well as recommendations for durations for those activities. Such activities include patrolling, calisthenics, low crawling, field assaults, walking on loose sand with a load, and construction of defensive positions.

Climate change affects the number of days in certain regions of the country that are classified as either Category IV or Category V days. And that affects the Army’s ability to train in those areas.

Citing a temperature chart for Fort Stewart, Georgia, Kidd said “if you take a middle-road estimate of future climate change, we’re going to go from around 80 days a year of Category IV or Category V weather to 130 days a year of Category IV and Category V.”

Fort Stewart is just 150 miles south-east of Fort Jackson, South Carolina, where the Army trains as many as 35,000 basic trainees each year.

“Can we really train Soldiers if roughly half of our training days are going to be Category IV or Category V, where we have to curtail or eliminate their outdoor activity?” he asked.

MORE FIGHTS POSSIBLE; ARC OF INSTABILITY

The phrase “win in a complex world,” is all over the Army. Factors that make the world “complex” include population growth, increasing consumption, urbanization, transitions in energy, and the spread of technology, for instance.

“But the one item that cuts across all of those trends is climate change,” Kidd said. “For the Army what does that mean for plans and operations?”

Kidd pointed out that in any particular state, “governance capacity” describes the ability of a government to provide public goods and services to their citizens and constituents.

The effects of climate change, he said, such as rising sea levels, or scarcity of fresh water, for instance, can overwhelm the capacity of a government to provide the services it is supposed to, and that makes for failed states.

“If a state can’t meet those requirements, it tips over,” Kidd said.

Areas with failed states, or other “ungoverned” areas, Kidd said, leave a vacuum that is ripe for takeover by terrorists. “These are the spaces that are the petri dishes that nurture these threats.”

Kidd referred to the area from sub-Saharan Africa up into central Asia as an “arc of instability.”

“These are the same countries that are going to be the most adversely affected by climate change,” he said. “The effects of climate change, along with other global trends, have the potential to overwhelm the governance capacity of states in this region. And when that governance capacity gets overwhelmed, you have the opportunity for insecurity — an unstable, uncontrolled space. And from that could come terrorism, crime, civil war and all of these other security threats.”

When that happens, he said, “The decision will have to be made by the civil command authority: is that worth the intervention for the U.S. military?”

Climate change, he said, can mean increased engagement by American Soldiers.

With that in mind, Kidd said, such problems can be inoculated against with the Army’s regionally aligned forces concept, with development of host-nation capacity, strategic engaging by combatant commands, as well as with involvement by other government agencies such as the U.S. Agency for International Development. All are examples of how America can contribute to bolstering governance capacity to avoid future failed states.

WHERE ARE THE BULLETS?

In 2011, a tsunami, triggered by an earthquake, caused the failure of the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant in Eastern Japan.

Japanese manufacturers who relied on power produced at Fukushima were themselves responsible for producing a small plastic part that is used to attach automobile dashboards to the chassis.

“Every car has these grommets in them,” Kidd said, adding that Japanese manufacturers of those parts produced the preponderance of them, globally. “So When Fukushima went out, BMW lines in Europe shut down.”

Kidd said that today, major consulting firms in the private sector now consider supply chain resiliency for the companies they consult for.

“Private industry is thinking about the potential disruptions to supply chain,” Kidd said. But for the Army, he said, “we don’t think enough about our supply chain and our suppliers and their vulnerability to disruptive events. Where are the vulnerabilities in the Army supply chain, to extreme weather, or in particular, to water-driven events?”

“We need to get a better understanding of the vulnerabilities in our supply chain,” Kidd concluded.

Kidd said the Army does spend a great deal of time and effort on ensuring the adequacy and security of its supply chain.

“But we need to integrate climate change considerations into our ongoing processes,” he said. “We have initiated this effort within the last two years. Specifically, we have developed and are constructing a range of water savings features across our industrial facilities focused on the very large amount of water used in manufacturing.”

EARTH DAY FOR THE ARMY

“For the military, it’s about national security,” Kidd said of Earth Day. “The effects of climate change and environmental degradation are going to increase our requirements while also imposing more constraints on our training and readiness and use of scarce dollars. The sooner we get started, the more prepared we will be, and the less costly it’s going to be to adapt.”

Source: http://www.army.mil/article/166803/Climate_change_affecting_Army_training/

 
 

Food is Love

Food is a big deal to me and my family. I mostly grew up in a household of four – my parents, my sister, and myself. If our parents weren’t outside doing yardwork or relaxing watching HGTV, they were in the kitchen. And so were we – either doing homework, practicing an instrument, or just socializing.

My daddy grew up in south Florida with a father who was a very popular African-American chef and who was very well and widely recognized for his culinary talents. Dad picked up on this art and even spent some time as a cook in the military. As a retiree, he often dreamed of opening up his own restaurant or food truck. My family very much so encouraged this idea because we just love his cooking – especially his homemade barbeque sauces and hot sauces. He hasn’t hit this goal yet but for now you can often find him serving soldiers from his mobile meat smoker on Fort Gordon or BBQing for church members at functions. Then mom, she was born and raised on the island of Palau from where she brought to us her traditional dishes – my favorite being pork, chicken, and fish wrapped together in banana leaves, slow-cooked then served with rice and tapioca root. She also spent some of her Army career as a cook. (It is safe to assume they met in the military and married after much courtship.)

We all are definitely a family of foodies. We won’t turn our nose up to a certain culture’s food traditions. We will try anything. Except this one time as a teen I watched my mom eat a small octopus in just one bite at a Japanese spot and Lord I just wasn’t having it!

In college, sadly I didn’t do much cooking myself. I was the “typical” college kid that had fast food, campus food, ate Ramen, or got wings delivered to my apartment late night. (Shout out to Don Corleones Pizza & Wings joint on Lanier Drive!)

Now as an adult I think back to the structure of my household (especially when considering a mate), one of those major pillars of the home being food. It brings me joy when I can get together with friends and have a potluck or to sit in someone’s backyard spening the day grilling it up or to try a new recipe at home from Pinterest (whether nail or fail). Why is it so important to me? Why does it make me so happy?

I believe food brings people together. As a kid my favorite holiday was always Thanksgiving. I would’ve picked Thanksgiving over Christmas and my own birthday! I still would. On Thanksgiving, people take a break from their busy worlds and come together over a big meal. It isn’t about one person or about spending money on gifts. It’s about everybody. People are more willing to go out of their way to come together, even from far distances. There is laughter, raw conversation, and pure fun…undeniable union…there’s love.

I have to have friends and especially a mate who understands that. If you don’t get food, you don’t get me. I am actually appalled that there are still adults out there who havent had the opportunity to truly love on food. Or they’ve had the chance but they still choose fast food over homemade food…which is equivalent to me as choosing CONVENIENCE OVER LOVE. Eating take-out food most likely wont teach your children how to set the table and serve each other the way preparing a home-cooked meal would. Won’t teach them to clean up after themselves or how to choose from different food groups, etc.

Speaking of choosing food, am I the only one who still believes in this “old-fashioned” idea: parents include vegetables on your dinner plate or make a dish you just don’t like…if you don’t like it, you don’t have a choice. You’d better finish eating it or you go to bed hungry. Lol! Boy, me and Brussels sprouts did NOT get along. I tried the trick of chewing it up to a mush and hiding it in my balled-up napkin. Only worked for so long.

I could go on and on about how much healthier and cost-efficient eating at home could be versus eating out all the time. But then I’d be shifting my topic moreso toward one of saving money or eating better. Neh, this is about unity.

Another way that food brings people together is in the community. Until you volunteer at a soup kitchen or donate food to a homeless shelter, until you see the look on the face of a needy child or mother, you don’t know the joy of giving. I remember my mom dropped Jade and I off at a food drive building in downtown Augusta one summer and told us to help the staff for a few hours. They had us sorting canned goods for what seemed like all day with only one snack break. I kind of had an attitude. I didn’t let it show of course, but I remember feeling some type of way. Like, Why did she drop us off here at some dusty warehouse? It’s hot!

My mom was like that. She would make us do things or establish house rules and not explain the purpose or importance of them. I don’t agree with it but that’s her child-rearing style and I love her. She was the do-what-I-say-because-I-said-so type. It made me quite the rebel. If she would have just explained to us as preteens that we were giving back to the community and that it was for a purpose, we would have served with tender love instead of throwing cans of green beans from box to box. And maybe I wouldn’t have gotten mad when she made us take the trash bags to the dumpster at the close of church functions when all the other kids were still playing. Like, Why am I picking up people’s paper plates and dirty napkins when everybody else’s kids are running around playing tag and what not.

What all this boils down to is that the making and the serving of food is love… And if you haven’t already heard of it, Dixie® launched a movement last year with the hashtag #DarkforDinner which I absolutely fell in love with. They want to break the trend and remove the electronic distractions from the traditional setting of the dinner table to get families to gather for the meal and remember that the focus should be on each other and not things. Check it out below:

UNPLUG & CONNECT

 

-Jas

 

 

 

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Your “Other Half”

The hugest mistake I have made in a relationship is getting involved with someone who doesn’t have it all together thinking that I could help uplift them with my wholeness. One plus one equals two, and two people in a serious relationship should eventually be working towards becoming one–which is marriage. But a half plus a whole (or a even a half plus a half) will NEVER equal two–which means it can never become one.

When I say a person doesn’t have it all together, I don’t speak of palpable items, like having enough money to pay off all their debt or having a nice car or clean house or well-behaved children. And I’m not referring to the fact that he has no baby mama drama and is into fitness and that he dresses sharp and can cook really well. These notions are all exterior and sadly sometimes these influence some of us women to think a guy might be golden when he’s only gold-plated…

To be whole and have it “all together,” I mean that he is AWARE. He is aware of his sense of purpose. He is aware of his God-given talents. He is aware of what he expects of himself as well as aware of the flaws he has that could become obstacles to those expectations. He is aware of how he treats the people closest to him. He is aware of his resilience and assertiveness. He is not passive; he can make decisions confidently. He is forward but not hurtful. He is aware of his thoughts and emotions. He knows exactly what he wants from life and from people. He is fully aware of his spirituality and what he has to offer the rest of the world. He has a mentor and he most likely even mentors. This type of person listens-to-understand rather than listening-to-respond. This type of person is observant and mindful. He doesn’t fold easily nor get his feelings easily hurt. This type of person is confident and optimistic. He is sure. And he would never ever hold back an apology nor a compliment because he’s real. He’s fearless. He is a rock. He is NOT holey therefore not using love and acceptance from others to fill those holes.

(By the way, THIS is the type of man I need to raise my son! I don’t have children yet but I’m just saying!  I get excited imagining a man like this, lol.)

The description of said individual may sound too good to be true. But in actuality, he is not perfect. He’s a sinner and he makes mistakes. He has flaws just like any other man. The biggest difference though is that he is well-aware of them and knows he must work on them.

Sooo, going back to the first paragraph… I consider myself to be whole or at least very aware of myself–mind and body and soul. It is a detrimental mistake and distraction from your purpose when we “wholes” choose to intimately date someone who is not whole. Because they simply aren’t ready to receive what we have to offer. They probably won’t even understand where you’re coming from because it’s foreign to them. Your ideas and your type of affection and your words and just everything attached to something deeply rooted in you–sometimes they just won’t get it and it seems like they won’t even try to. It’s not their fault. I mean, if a person speaking a language you’ve never even heard of tried to explain something to you, how would you even begin to decipher their message? You can’t. You won’t. A person who knows themselves inside and out will never be understood by a person who is trying to figure it all out, unless we break it down Barney style. And nobody wants an entire relationship to be on a Barney level… ‘Cause all the while we are trying to bring them up to par (and “upgrade” them because Beyoncé tried to make that concept cute and acceptable back in 2006), but if they aren’t ready to be brought up to our level of mental understanding and spiritual awareness, they will only end up dragging us down because we aren’t focused on our purpose anymore. We end up too focused on our relationship, like it’s an ongoing project. And we all know at least one person who has become so focused on their significant other that they somewhat forget about their career and their friends and their purpose.

Don’t be that person.

We need NOT make excuses for these “half persons” just because they haven’t harmed us or done anything wrong to us. Because, yeah, this person could be the most kind and fun and loyal person you’ve ever met. But if his or her soul is not ready to receive yours, the relationship could eventually end in flames and tears.

Once we find someone whole and we feel like they may be our soulmate, of course we will still have to learn each other, work together, compromise, make sacrifices and make mistakes, etc. After all, that’s what relationships are about. I never said that the process of two becoming one was simple and headache-free.

But we should never have to dumb our love down for someone who isn’t meant for us in the first place. Trust me that if you fall in love with one of these people, don’t feel like you’re helping them or upgrading them or doing them a favor by staying by their side. Because you can just be their FRIEND and help them and pray for them and encourage them and all that, etc. etc. But by giving your absolute all into them and your relationship, you could end up draining yourself, drying yourself out, and losing yourself in the process. You’ll be a wreck and wake up one day like, “What in the heck am I doing here? What have I gotten myself into?”

That’s what happens when you pour a full glass of water into an empty glass: You helped the empty glass to fill–but at half-full you no longer feel fulfilled and they STILL aren’t filled up because they were empty to begin with. So instead of being TWO content glasses, in the end you’ll’ve created two half-ass individuals.

And my dad has always said to me, “Jasmine, if you’re gonna do something half-assed, don’t do it at all.” I feel like that could somewhat apply here as well.

Please don’t sacrifice your wholeness for somebody else’s halfness. It is extremely difficult to get someone who is not whole to see their own potential to become one with themselves. How many years are you going to spend on trying to get them to realize that potential and then how many years will it take for them to wake up and start working towards it? How long will it take them to see the true potential of the relationship if they fail to see their own individual potential off top?

I believe God made our soulmates so we can both help each other serve our purpose in Him, not in our own selves. But are we able to efficiently do that by spending 5 years trying to lead a horse to water and another 5 trying to get the horse to drink? Half the time, I think the horse wasn’t even thirsty to begin with.

Become One with someone who thirsts for life the way you do and don’t settle for less than that.

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2016 in Relationships

 

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My Lauryn Hill

*thinking*

*laughing to myself*

One of my favorite evenings spent at Yaeko’s house… Scratch that. My favorite evening ever spent at Yaeko’s house was the one where you and I and two other guys were sitting at the dining room table. We were drinking and laughing and playing card games. Buzzing off what beverages exactly, I don’t know; perhaps a little bit of everything. But whatever amount of alcohol had no hindrance on your beautiful ability to kill us softly.

If I remember correctly, the two guys were maybe beat boxing with their mouths and I was beating on the table with my fists and knuckles. All the while, you sang more soulfully than Lauryn ever could.

The entire room was a blur but I can clearly remember how divine your voice was. All the sounds flowed so perfectly from the four of us at that table. I loved it. When I think of this little moment – a simple three, maybe four, minutes out of my life – it brings a smile to my face. How could just a few minutes of us tipsily, randomly deciding to sing that song have created such a delightful memory for me?

I know how modest you are about your voice. Thank you for sharing your talent that day in front of men you didn’t even know.

I’m your biggest fan. I always have been. Even if I never told you. Even if I never ever do tell you. I’m your biggest fan. Love you.

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2015 in Uncategorized

 
 
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