What does over-the-hill mean? It’s a phrase society uses to describe the point in your life where you’re passing over the peak or highest point and getting ready to head down a steep slope toward old age or death. (Seriously). In addition, the age of “40” is most commonly viewed as over the hill.
I’m 27 and, unfortunately, for the past few years, I have been hearing several female colleagues and even friends saying they no longer look forward to their 30s and that 30 is now over-the-hill. (WHAT?!) I jokingly reply that 30 is the “new 21” but actually I am absolutely disgusted and really quite heartbroken at this type of mindset. You are imprisoned for a life sentence in a concrete cell that you have built for yourself! And at such a YOUNG age!
This is just ridiculous and unappreciative.
But if this is YOU, please don’t stop reading. Because this post is not to point fingers at anyone or embarrass anybody. No one is reading this with you but you. But stop being so hard on yourself and continue to read. This post is to hopefully give you an open mind and open heart. It’s too easy for us to lose sight of our blessings by getting bogged down by stress and emotions and work. It’s human. It’s okay. It’s just NOT okay to get down and STAY down.
1. The first and best reason that turning 30 is so awesome is that you are simply…alive.
Take a moment to think about the people you know personally that have passed away while you were in grade school or college. Think about what happened to them or what caused their death. Car accident? Suicide? Homicide? Disease? THEN think about those that have passed on at young ages that you don’t know personally. Children involved in school shootings or born with terminal illness for instance. YOU ARE ALIVE. It’s simple. God saved you. You made it.
2. You aren’t supposed to be perfect in your 20s. Maybe that’s what your 30s are for.
People assume that once you hit 30, you are “old” or “older” and no longer fun and youthful, therefore, you’re expected to be more responsible because you are supposedly wealthy and have established a family…and that if you still want to have fun you’re WRONG and that if you don’t have a spouse and kids yet you’re LATE… Really? Who put a time limit on fun? And who put a time limit on savings and finances? It’s never too late to start a new hobby or new career path and it is never too late to meet ‘The One’ and start a family.
Your 20s are pretty much for exploring and mistake-making, reparations and learning, moving on and moving forward, preparing for your life. This is the point in time where most people learn who they really are. So if you haven’t hit the lotto yet, it’s okay. Your 30s are not the end of the world.
3. Even if you are already 30 or 40+ who says it’s too late to travel, be sexy, be adventurous, and be spontaneous? Of course, it would be more difficult if you have kids, but kids are not a show stopper. Each time you use your job or kids as an excuse as to why you can’t do something, think of two more reasons or options as to how you CAN do it. There are motivational speakers and mentors out here sharing their personal testimonies with the public trying to help you live a wealthier, healthier, more fun lifestyle, and all you can say is, “But I can’t because _____.” Imagine if you were that person. What do they have inside that you don’t? Perhaps the answer is as simple as “will, determination, and perseverance.”
4. Maybe we see older women in our lives that aren’t doing so well and this subliminally causes us to believe this is the path we are headed toward.
For instance, maybe grandma died too young of heart failure or auntie is suffering from drug addiction and financial issues. Or big sis is still working as a bar tender trying to support three kids. Whatever their case may be, some young women are blinded by the older women they see and think that’s something like the obstacles they’ll encounter. And while some things are just inevitable in life, you still have control of what your future could look like. The people before you do not define you.
Make a game plan or fix your current one. Because if you feel like you have NOTHING to look forward to in your THIRTIES, you are sadly mistaken, my friend. That means you have been wasting a lot of time doing nothing to create a great life for your 30s and beyond. Not just for yourself but for your family. Or maybe YOU HAVE but just don’t realize it. Take a few quiet moments, close your eyes for three minutes, and think about how far you’ve come and what exactly you have accomplished -no matter how big or small.
And guess what? A great life doesn’t fall into your lap once you meet ‘The One.’ It doesn’t fall into your lap once you land a job that allows you to finally use your degree. Nor when you fit into a size 1 jeans. Nor when you get pregnant like the rest of your friends. Once YOU get your life together, GOD will align all these things for you down the road. If you’re getting closer to 30, you still have time to begin saving and working hard and developing your mind, body, and soul for what’s ahead.
Chances are you are looking for the wrong things to complete you and thinking if you don’t have them by a certain age that your time is up. Trust me, I know. Because I too suffered from this mindset only a year or two ago. I didn’t know where life was going and used to want to be married by 30. Now, I could wait forever until the RIGHT TIME! Watching people around you or above you get married and get pregnant and obtain business licenses and then buy cars and houses, etc. You tend to wonder, Hey God when is my time? God’s just waiting on us to count our current blessings and stop focusing on other people. Simply put, ***He’s not going to furnish a house we haven’t built yet.*** (You’re welcome).
So let’s stop ordering future furniture and picking out future dogs and which future cars we want in our 3-car garage. I see you making baby shower invites with no baby. Go out and choose your foundation and build up your house and get the power flowing before you open up your hands for more.
Our thirties will be beautiful if we let them!! Let’s flourish, ladies!!
“Thirty is the new twenty-one!” At 21, we celebrate being able to drink. By 30, some of us have probably done enough drinking but not nearly enough living. Life begins NOW! Celebrate!